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We’re getting a hurricane…

30 Jul

I have the feeling this is going to screw up all the weekend plans. I am beginning to feel disappointed all ready.

Well this will be interesting because I’m not covering the windows. I’ll pull the accordion shutter over the slider closed but that’s all I can do.

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It Was a Beautiful Night for a Night Swim…

30 Jul

I thought it would be gorgeous night for a night swim. It was. And I needed it.

After I got back from racing the little sports car my BP was 173/102. Too much adrenaline.

A swim in the pool and a glass of wine dropped it to 94/65.

I love to swim at night.

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Let me clarify “jewelry store”

29 Jul

For people who weren’t familiar with the marketing I did in that 3 year period – jewelry store does not mean the “Kay Jewelers” of the world.

We were dealing in the world’s largest diamonds. We sold 10 CTS all the time. It was a daily thing to show them. We had one over 17 CTS and the store had several Guinness Book of World Record pieces. I have written to all the living queens of the world. And some wrote back.

This was not your average jewelry store and this was not your average kind of marketing. And they are not your average people. We had a very robust social prescience online. It was computer science, design, photography, kiosk, advertising, shows and magazine covers. And then I was, for lack of a better term, “model on demand.”

So you want to see how that 10 CTS would actually look on her hand? No problem.

One responsibility turned into another and it go to the point where I opened the store every morning and disarmed the systems and unlocked the safe and set those millions of dollars in diamonds into the front windows. Clients are people with money and eye for the finer things in life and an eye for beauty.

No, it was not your average store or client. It’s a very high risk business.

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I think I’ll swim tonight…

29 Jul

It’s nice and warm here so I’m contemplating a night swim tonight.

That and my car is due to be driven. Since I’ve been working from home, I have to make a concerted effort to take it out.

Because it’s a sports car, it really needs to be opened up on I-95 for a while and then maybe I’ll drive back A1A. Not sure yet.

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I’m looking forward to it…

29 Jul

You will never guess who I’m having dinner with this weekend?

M. – who owned the jewelry store in Palm Beach and who I worked for for 3 years. I get to see her and her boyfriend L. We’ve been invited to a barbeque. And J. is going with me to dinner. We’ll have the who alphabet soup by the time we are done! LOL. I’m looking forward to this.

I am frequently good friends with former clients. The people that I have worked with previously do hold special places in my heart. I was glad to receive the invitation to dinner. I am looking forward to updates on the family.

I hope we can sit back and remember the fun and the good times. There’s always the bad with the good in business but it so much more fun to remember the good and laugh about them. There were certainly a lot of stories from that 3 years.

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Update for last week…

26 Jul

I have to assign an initial to the man I started seeing in July. I’ll refer to him as J.

Dare I say it, but it’s been an incredibly hot romance. It’s really rare to have that kind of chemistry with someone. We are incredibly similar. We have a lot of interests in common. It was nice to get out and spend the weekend at his house. It’s an escape for me because it’s so relaxing. It’s like a private, secluded retreat from the stresses of the world.

We were originally going to try to fly today but a few days the weather called for tropical storms so we didn’t do it. The weather was beautiful today. We could have done it. We’ll do it soon but the airplane needs to be looked at first.

He has a four month old puppy who is just too cute. It’s a gold lab. Very lovable dog. And he LOVES SHOES.  LOL. I must be the ultimate woman for a puppy like this. “She has SHOES!!!” The dog is funny.

He came (J. not the puppy) and stayed one night this week with me. I really hated to see him leave.

He definitely brings a smile to my face.

It was a nice weekend.

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No posts for a few days…

23 Jul

I’ve been having to deal with someone who can’t handle their work stress stress and I seem to be an easy target. Since it’s my work too, I am stuck trying to deal it even though I’m not creating the problem.

I had a very difficult client before for three years and what got me through it was a lot of patience and compassion for their situation. They had such a volatile temper because of stress it was often very difficult to deal with.

It is what it is – pray for them and ask for peace.

May peace be with you all.

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I swam tonight…

21 Jul

I am trying, and it seems like in vain, to get control of this blood pressure and heart issue.

I got home last night and I was in Hypertensive Crisis (which means it shot really high). Then it bottomed out last night (to the point where it’s very, very dangerous) in the middle of the night. It’s like a roller coaster horror ride that I can not get off. It can swing so wildly in such a short period of time.

I just don’t understand it. I’m not overweight. I have a very healthy diet. I don’t have COVID. I weigh 110 lbs. and at 51, I don’t think I’m that old. I have been a life long athlete. And yet my body can not regular my heart beat and blood pressure. I don’t understand it. I hope by the end of all the tests in August that we might have some idea so we can fix it.

In the meantime, it’s scary. I never used to be afraid to be home alone and go to sleep. Now I hate it. My doctor keeps telling me, “Don’t stress about it or anything else. I don’t want you to worry. We’ll find an answer.”

I’m trying. I really am.

The pool really did feel good. Water has always been very soothing for me and the exercise is good. I went for a long walk last night but I much prefer the pool.

This is the third time we’ve changed medications. This combination is actually failing way more than the others.

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It was a very nice weekend…

19 Jul

I got to spend the weekend away, which was really nice.

Because I’ve been working from home ever since this COVID crisis began, I have my days where I just get cabin fever and want to get out for a change of pace.

It’s such a beautiful piece of property that has a lot of privacy. Everything is so well designed but that’s to be expected. But of course, it was the company I enjoyed the most.

And I will return the hospitality.

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The Twin Commanche…

17 Jul

Of course we already discussed the plane. They are notoriously dangerous aircraft. They are rare. They are difficult to fly. But those who fly them, love them passionately. I think we’re going to fly in a a couple of weeks.

We all have our stories about the mechanical mishaps.

The girls wanted to know, “Ok, so what’s he like?”

6′4″. Tall, dark and handsome. Brilliant blue eyes. Very talented. All muscle because of the real estate work. I have found that all Twin Comanche pilots are tall, except for me. G. was 6′6″.

The taller they are, the more they love little things. This one also loved boats. Yes, we have a lot in common. We also have our birthdays in common.

How would I describe a Twin Comanche – heavy, substantial, a real man’s airplane. Respect in an aircraft. Not for the faint of heart. It’s nickname is the Widow Maker. It kills a lot of pilots. Fast. A Twin Comanche with turbo chargers will go 160 MPH. Most small planes only go 90. I could fly faster in Porsche or in the new Lexus sports car than most planes. I do like a scenic flight down through Palm Beach. But sometimes it’s fun just to floor it.

I gave him a tour of my home. When he walked in the bedroom and saw the pilot flight manuals on the dresser, he got the chills.

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It’s my birthday…

16 Jul

Yes it’s my birthday. 51 years ago today we launched the rocket to the moon.

We celebrated last night. Tonight I just want to sleep.

Friday night we’ll get together again and Saturday he wants my input on redesigning a house. You know I love that stuff. It will be fun.

He’s so talented, I don’t think he really needs my help but I will be glad to have a look.

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Making a special dinner tonight…

15 Jul

I was up to midnight baking dessert. It should be yummy.

I hope this turns out well.

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Lots of reasons to be happy today…

13 Jul

I just found out that one of my clients from South Carolina, who now lives in North Carolina is coming to town on business at the end of the month. As you might have guessed, I am good friends with a number of my clients and he and his wife and I used to have the best times on Hilton Head. The year we all went to The Chamber Ball was just a super fun time.

I am so excited to hear that he’s coming to town and we can play catch up over a drink at The Breakers.

Then, and I’m not going to say much – my date this weekend was just beyond, beyond. The guy is truly fantastic. I have such a soft spot anyways for the type of guy who builds things and flys airplanes. Then when you add being a really nice, sweet guy on top of that plus being extraordinarily talented and every other sentence being something that is just like me – well I need not say anything more. The chemistry was incredible. We have so much in common it’s just unbelievable. He’s seven years older than me, which is perfect for me. His work was just incredible. I loved every bit of it. He’s got such an eye for design and such a vision for a piece of property. I’ve very impressed. We had a great time. And as usual, I’m not going to tell you who it is.

One thing that he and talked about was that the reason it didn’t work out with the last guy I went out with is because he came from a family that bickers and fights all the time. My mother and stepfather were not like that. I came from a good family and I’ve learned the hard way not to date guys that don’t come from that background. He ended up picking me apart and being negative and he some kind of confrontational issue the last 3 dates we went on. In the end, he was not a nice guy. So needless to say, that relationship ended.

So I got treated to a really nice history book. My date this weekend – his family founded major businesses in Palm Beach and the photos and the things they saved were just beautiful when you looked at the memory album. That’s the kind of family like mine. I loved looking at those pictures and hearing the stories. The whole thing is such a piece of history for Palm Beach county that I encouraged him to do a book. People would love to see this. And they were friends with all kinds of famous people in history and there were original black and white photographs of everything from presidents to rocket launches and there were inscriptions and notes. It’s Old Palm Beach. I love that stuff. It was fun. And you could see that they were genuinely nice people and people involved in the community.

So I’ve had plenty of things to happy about today.

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Looking forward to this…

11 Jul

I have a date tonight. He’s invited me to his home and then we are going to dinner.

I am looking forward to this.

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I know a lot more about the heart problem than I did before

10 Jul

I saw the new cardiologist for the first time. He’s really excellent. He explained so many things and addressed everything I had been thinking and feeling. And I got the impression that he really cares.

Unfortunately, my gut instincts were right and more right than I would like for them to be.

I have an electrical problem with the heart. It affects the left ventricle. He was able to show me that my EKG machine was incorrectly labeling my heart problem. However, it had recorded all the heart patterns and he could see the problem. My heart jumps and then it quits beating for an abnormally long period of time. It’s because the “electrical impulse” that controls the heart misfires. When this pattern goes on and on, the machine wants to label it as Bradycardia (low heart rate) but the reality of what’s happening is that it’s like a repetitive Premature Ventricular Contraction. If this were just happening occasionally, we could live with that. It seems to be happening a lot and that’s what causes the dizziness, sick to my stomach, my feet and hands go numb, feeling like I am going to pass out and I am because the heart isn’t pumping blood. As a matter of fact, he said don’t use that EKG machine. The blood pressure machine was recording accurately when it kept saying, “Irregular Heartbeat.” It is a type of arrhythmia.

He said, “I bet you feel fear and anxiety right after you feel the first one.” I do. He said it’s your body reacting to the problem, which then makes that problem worse. We have to do more tests in August to get more information on it. He also immediately changed the medications they were treating this with. Two of them are a very bad idea for someone who has an electrical issue. My gut always told me that the Clonidine was dangerous. It is for someone who has this problem. It’s interesting how my gut has known this all along. That’s why I was really only taking the other 2 medicines and only used the Clonidine a few times as a last resort. He immediately changed my medications and when it goes really high, I’ll be taking 4 times the dose I was taking before. He gave me page of instructions to read and follow. It’s a complex problem.

All along I said, “I’ve got to get to the bottom of this issue because this is serious.” I know when it’s a dangerous situation and it keeps happening without warning.

We think stress has contributed to the situation but I thought about it after our conversation and I suspect that I was prone to this my whole life. The reason I say this is because growing up I could never wear a digital watch. It would die very quickly on my arm. I always thought that was a sign of something. We also have to do the obvious things like a stress test to find out if exercise brings it on. I don’t think it does but we have to rule it out. I do exercise. My numbers are so much better when I get out of the pool. I would be shocked if I fail a stress test. We also have to do even more blood work and get some pictures of the heart and we’re going to have to hook up some more heart monitors depending upon what the insurance will cover. All these tests take time to do. But I have to do them. I’m a problem solver. I say, “Let’s find and fix the problem.” No matter what the answers are you feel better with answers and feeling like you can get control over something. Computer Science and Design are all about solving problems.

Three days in the hospital with a barrage of tests and those guys could not explain to me what is really going on other than we had a crisis at one point and my heart quit pumping blood. This doctor takes one look and knows instantly and is able to show me the problem. This is very helpful to me. Because now I feel like we’ve identified it and we can try to find more answers and fix it or manage it. What we’re going to have to do to fix it, I’m not sure yet or how complicated this gets. We probably will not know until after August 21st when all of the tests are done. I also have a couple of theories about myself that I want to test.

I am very glad to have found a doctor that I have confidence in and who took a great deal of time with me. I’m grateful for that.

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Trading Pilot Stories…

10 Jul

It was fun a trip down memory lane.

We traded stories about all the pilots who’ve been in my life.

From G. with the Twin Comanche, tip tanks and counter rotating engines

To Joe with the Mohawk, Cheyenne and Saudi Arabian Fighter Jet. We even watched the plane crash video to see if another pilot disagrees with what I know about the accident. I don’t expect the full NTSB report before 2021 and I’ve asked the Trump administration to help me dot every i and cross every T by finding the Arab who shot the cell phone video of the plane going down. I don’t really think it’s related but I just want to know who it was and what were you doing?

To Chad with his Diamond who managed to get us FAA permission to fly in the most dangerous place – 500 feet above water in Palm Beach. It’s so worth it! I love it. I’ve flown up high with Comanche’s so to fly with a Diamond up high isn’t that impressive. Strap me to a rocket and and then we’d be talking impressive.

I’m looking forward to flying on his plane. I’ve already been forewarned it doesn’t have counter rotating engines. That makes trouble harder. And it’s a few years older. I still want to go.

He watched some video of me trying to bring a plane down to the water level and fly on the inter coastal. That’s one of my favorite things to do.

I really like discussing airplanes and Realestate with this guy. He’s very knowledgable. I hope to see him again.

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Date night…

09 Jul

I think I have  date tonight. I’m looking forward to it.

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Dilema…

08 Jul

I’m friends with a lot of people who are very different than me. They have very different opinions than me. They choose to live their life a different way than me.

I’ve always been very tolerant of other people. I can’t say that I have any friends who are really like me.

But recently I had occasion to talk to a friend who actually let me see their true personality. It was hateful, mean, nasty and all kinds of unbecoming things we said about everyone who is in this person’s life.

I am disappointed to actually hear all that and I would never in a million years say those things about other people. This hateful kind of stuff has been building and building and building. I don’t tend to like people who look down on other people and I got the sense this person was looking down and actually hating many of the people in their life.

I also think it’s inconsiderate for someone to unload on me about other people when they are well aware that I have a heart problem and I’m avoiding stress. The reality is my life depends on my being able to get control over this situation. People can be very inconsiderate and not understand that or they simply don’t care.

Thankfully, I’ve been super busy this week and can avoid the situation. I just don’t care for people who aren’t nice. It isn’t in my heart to ever be like that person.

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I had a fabulous date today…

05 Jul

Sometimes it’s such a small world it’s incredible. I can’t believe the coincidences. And maybe there is a certain kind of man that is attracted to me.

People that have known me will think I might be describing G. but I’m not. This is not G. But G. and I had common interests and that’s why we were together so long.

I met and had a very nice date with someone that owns a Twin Comanche airplane. The FAA says there’s only 80 of them still registered. When they were made they only made like 1500 of these airplanes. He had seen this picture of me. This was me getting ready for a flight on G.’s twin Comanche years ago. If I braid my hair, I still look like this.

He’s a real estate developer and he used to be into boats. As a matter of fact he also owned a Viking. I told him about how I redid a Viking. He asked me if I knew a certain person in Miami (who I won’t name) who redoes boats. I laughed instantly because I do know him and he’s the one who had redone the Viking before we got a hold of it in 2012. I redid that guys work with G.

It also turns out that he redid that guys work. That’s fantastic.

What a small world.

He seems like such a nice guy. I am trying to avoid men who are “players” and this guy just seems really nice, down to earth and is interested in a lot of the things I’ve spent time with. He doesn’t strike me as “player” which is very good. I was very excited to meet him. I saw photos of his real estate work. He’s very talented.

We’re going to have a second date this week. We have a lot in common.

And I’m looking forward to flying on the Comanche. It’s been a while since I’ve been up and I would love to fly with him. We both have crazy busy schedules this week so it won’t be this week but it will be fun.

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What a spectacular 4th of July…

05 Jul

Friends invited me to The Breakers for lunch, an afternoon at the pool and dinner at HMF.

Look at the spectacular lighting show and photos from today. Who needs fireworks when you have something this beautiful on the beach?

https://youtu.be/TIf4-DooZt0

They loved my new car too. Look where they parked it….that’s their number one spot. How sweet of you…

Then driving home on I95 I saw all the fireworks in the sky. What a fun drive!

Happy 4th of July everyone!

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I bought a luxury sports car…

03 Jul

I bought a Lexus RC 200 Turbo Sport (translation – I bought a Lexus sportscar). It’s Pearl White.

I didn’t want to buy anything too outrageous. It drives so smooth, like a bat out of hell. I actually like it better than the Porsche I had. I think this one will be far more reliable and just a smart yet sexy move and I think I will really enjoy the car.

I may redo the seats in white leather because Lexus does not do a white leather option for the seats but I can do it.

There’s a lot of things on the car that I need to learn how to operate. It has a beautiful sunroof as well.

It was definitely time to get a new car.

I can’t wait to take it up A1A in Palm Beach. I’m going to The Breakers tomorrow for a day at the pool, lunch and dinner with a girlfriend. Maybe I can have her take a few pics.

Life can be short. I need and intend to enjoy it.

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Car Shopping and Weekend Plans…

03 Jul

I am going to look at two cars tomorrow. Sedan or sports car? I’ll just have to see what I think of them. I have to replace my car because of electrical problems. We’ll see if I like either of these options.

My friends, who had planned an international trip, were told they couldn’t go. So they decided to return to Palm Beach for the holiday. Again, they are staying at The Breakers. And again, they’ve extended an invitation for me to join them for a day at The Breakers pool and dinner on the 4th of July.

As you know, I spent the entire last weekend at The Breakers pool. It was very relaxing.

Then Sunday, I believe I have been extended an opportunity to meet someone.

I am extraordinarily careful with everything I do.

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Car shopping…

29 Jun

I am begin to car shop because that $1200 repair that happened 3 weeks ago? They didn’t fix the car. The problem came back after the electrical system depleted the battery again. That’s the fourth battery.

I am out of patience with this car and their inability to fix it.

So I am just now starting to look. This could take a while to figure out what I really want.

If I’m going to pay money for something, I have to like it.

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I feel like Jello…

29 Jun

Different day, different view, different cocktail….My girlfriend and I spent the whole weekend at The Breakers. I am so relaxed I feel like Jello. The ocean always makes me feel that way.

We had such a great time. And like the old saying goes, when one door closes another one opens. And sure enough by the end of the weekend, there are not one, two but three gentlemen who would like a date with me. They are all very attractive options.

Meanwhile, while we were in the pool we made fast friends with this lovely couple from Georgia. I think we’ve convinced them to come and buy a place in Palm Beach and enjoy the life with us. They thought we were fun.

I was so happy to see my favorite bartender Kenya. He’s the best. He and his companion bartender made such a fuss when we arrived at the pool. “The stars are here! Aren’t they beautiful! Look it’s the movie stars!” That instantly makes me laugh because SHE was a star, and they know full well who I am and I wasn’t in the movies. I told them, “But you can throw all the flattery you want my way and I will love every minute of it.” We’ve known this bartender for years. We love all of them.

The Breakers, as you know, has been one of my favorite places over the years. And as I told her, “Look around darling. This is why we live in Palm Beach. Isn’t it beautiful?” We had lunch by the pool again today.

It was such a great weekend.

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What a great day!

28 Jun

I spent the day at The Breakers with friends. The first time I’ve gotten to meet the long term boyfriend. I don’t know what to say. He’s so incredibly kind and generous and I’m very thankful to be included. We had lunch at the pool. Then my best friend and I spent the afternoon in the pool and laying by the ocean, then he treated us to Flagler’s with an invitation to treat us girls for brunch in the morning.

We had such a good time and yet another great memory in our now years worth of memories together. I really like this guy for her. It was so sweet of him to include me and invite me back for brunch.

While we were at the pool, she asked about what happened with the boyfriend of mine (who is now no more). I told them what he said and what he texted. They were so angry and so outraged, they said, “No matter what he tries to pull in the future, you are not to go out with him. We’ve known you for years, what a pack of lies and how tasteless and classless. He’s just a user and an ass. No one says that kind of stuff to people , nor in the manner in which it happened. It isn’t even true about you.” They have vowed to find me someone and they encouraged me not to delay in that process. “Replace him as soon as possible. The guy did not deserve you.” They were incredibly angry.

I am grateful for my friends and the love that they have shown me today. I’d say they are working on putting that lost weight back on me as well.

I am looking forward to brunch at The Breakers tomorrow and another day at the pool. Another great memory for us.

We are blessed and grateful today.

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I don’t know what to make of it…

27 Jun

It’s such an odd twist of fate.

In one day, the opposite scenarios occurred:

I carry nothing but love in my heart for people that I deal with in business or personal. If someone is too evil to the core, they wouldn’t be a part of my life at some point.

In business I had a very long term relationship with someone. But when their business got to be stressful, anyone who was near that person would get blamed and the verbal lashings were fierce and no one in their life was spared. I tried endlessly to have love and patience with the situation recognizing that there was someone under mental duress that needed help and compassion when others wouldn’t give it. Eventually, I had to walk away from the situation, the same as everyone else had done in all the time before me.

I am never the type of person who would retaliate or lose someone’s trust, not even the person who hurt me the most. Yet, they incorrectly made that assumption and make decisions and changes that cost their business. It had been almost a year without a conversation, but I received a phone call with an apology and again asking for my help in a difficult situation. Which of course I did and of course I did not charge money because at this point they’ve been through enough irregardless of what brought it on. It is not in me to turn away someone who desperately needs my help. I wish I had been able to solve all the problems presented. I could not. Had they left some things in place that I did, I could have solved a few instantly. Trust. It’s all about trust and if people don’t trust me, even when I take on other projects, in the end it dings them and not me and then I can’t help because it’s out of my hands. The key is to not lose that trust in me. I’ve never given anyone a reason not to not trust me. And in the end, they realize it, unfortunately the hard way.

On the same day, on the personal side, someone tries to end a relationship. None of those problems really existed. It’s almost unfathomable how someone could take a few simple words and try to create a mountain out of molehill and I think it’s debateable whether it’s a molehill. Surely, there is something else going on here that I am not privy to. I can really only assume that it is yet again a stressful situation that may be causing their perceptions to be so far off. It’s a thing, a person, an event or something going on inside their head that doesn’t mesh with reality. But the bottom line is there is really nothing I can do after I’ve tried to explain that to them. Someday, I think they will look back on that and regret their assumptions. And they are assumptions, not fact.

It’s an odd twist of fate that they both happen in the same day.

It can be hard, when people don’t even stop to think about all the things I have to deal with in a day. I try to deal with these things as patiently as I can and with as much love as I can find. And that’s the best I can do. It’s just a shame sometimes that people don’t understand my value until I am gone.

I am looking forward to time with some friends this weekend in Palm Beach. Hopefully, we will have a nice time celebrating the positives in life.

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Friends via Friends

24 Jun

Have you ever had a really good friend that you talk to all the time and they have been dating someone and you’ve heard so much about that person that you feel like you know them? Like they are practically family?

Well that went both ways. He had heard so much about me over the years from her that he finally said, “I want to meet this Laura you talk about all the time.”

So after all these years, we’re finally all 3 going to sit down to dinner this weekend at one of my favorite restaurants.

I’ve looked forward to meeting this person for a very long time because he is special to my friend. And there is something unusually impressive about him. I believe what I was told is that he is the largest stockholder of Apple stock. That’s impressive.

But all I really care about is whether her happy. She is a very special person in my life.

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Fashion Show – Clothes That Fit

21 Jun

So what do you think? Friends are taking me to Flagler’s Steak House next weekend and to the Breakers pool. I also think I am having another dinner out next week. I am going with my best friend and her boyfriend.

What’s the verdict on these looks?

Laura Kerbyson

Laura Kerbyson

Laura Kerbyson

Laura Kerbyson

Laura Kerbyson

Laura KerbysonLaura Kerbyson

Laura KerbysonLaura Kerbyson

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How do I look at 110 lbs?

20 Jun

Photo appended below – no glasses.

Obviously because of the pandemic, I haven’t been able to get together with my friends. They were wondering, “How does she look at 110 lbs?”

I wasn’t trying to lose any weight. For better or worse, my body seems to have reset itself back to the way it was a long time ago. We are working to try to resolve the issue with my heart but it’s had an obvious impact on me.

I took a closeup so you can see changes to the face and then I took a shot at distance. I put on a tank top and yoga pants so you can actually see. Even the yoga pants are too big now.

Laura Kerbyson June 6, 2020 age 50

Laura Kerbyson

I know what Julie would say. “Take your glasses off. Let me see.” Here it is. I like to hide behind those glasses you know.

Laura Kerbyson without glasses

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One step forward and two steps backwards…

19 Jun

I honestly do not feel that great this week as some of you know.

I had one appointment that I need to have out of 3. We know that the issue causing my heart rate to drop very low is not due to the thyroid or Grave’s Disease or anything like that. It’s a problem with my heart. It would seem to not be regulating itself. And guess what? More tests.

And anyone that has had Bradycardia can’t take one of the BP medicine I was put on recently. So we dropped that one. They added a new one I start on tomorrow and for a week that BP will go high because it takes over 5 days for this medicine to work. So all the work we did to get it under control is about to temporarily unravel.

Then at the end of the month I go see the heart specialist. I was correct. The two problems are not related at all and when you look at the recordings you can see it.

I am looking forward to getting some extra sleep on Saturday. This is making me very tired.

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No clothes…

17 Jun

I literally don’t have clothes that fit now.

It’s been a long, hard couple of months and the scales are now registering at 110 lbs.

The last time I weighed 110 lbs I was 22 years old.

I had kept a bunch of really nice clothes in small sizes for years and then finally gave them all away because I thought, “I will never be this size again.” Ok, so that was a mistake.

So now nothing fits from the closet.

If I get a chance this weekend I’ll snap a recent pic. Easily, the pics you see of me on the Internet are 15-20 lbs more than what I weigh now. I’m actually wondering at what weight is it going to stop? I don’t know. I also wonder if it will ever go back to the way it was before.

Right now, I am wearing Yoga clothes every day.

What did I weigh in the Porsche photos? 125 lbs. So take 15 lbs off of that if you can imagine. Standing in front of that plane? 120-125 lbs. When I worked at Hard Rock in my 30s? 115-122 – somewhere in that range.

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Journal Entry for Reference 6-16-2020

16 Jun

If we can’t figure this out, I’m not going to make it.

History and notes for troubleshooting:

I was in the hospital April 26-28 for what started as a blood pressure problem.

At 3 a.m. in the morning, the heart dropped dramatically and quit pumping enough blood.

Same pattern occurred today. I am now sure the BP and heart issue are separate issues. BP is regulated by four meds. At 5:44 I got the same feeling as before. I started to feel like I’m going to pass out and my heart dropped to 40 into Bradycardia. I called the after hours doctor. They said this should not be happening. Go to the ER. I’m trying not to do that after what happened last time. Obvious from discussion with doctor that I need a Cardiologist to figure out why this keeps happening and what is really the problem. Those are not your ER doctors.

Got up and moved around. Went for walk to try to get the rate up and the blood back to my hands and feet. After walk, I have huge headache again. BP reading shows 140/80 and the device detects Irregular heartbeat again. I still do not feel well even after the walk. But the EKG shows it’s out of Bradycardia.

There is something not functioning correctly that causes my heart to do this. Obviously, my concern is that this happens in the middle of the night and I don’t come out of it. When it started during the day, I thought it might get to the point of 2 seconds and your out, like last time.

After recording all these readings since April 26, I am absolutely sure that the BP and the heart are issues that are independent of one another when you analyze the numbers that are recorded onto my phone.

This is a point of reference to be brought up onto the phone if we end up in an emergency situation again.

My plan is to see a heart specialist to investigate further and to remain outside of the ER unless I am sure I can’t. This thing is so inconsistent and it’s not predictable when it comes to the heart issue. We have to keep digging to find the answer to why this is happening. You can’t remain conscious and ultimately can’t survive when your heart stops pumping blood. This has to get solved. Tomorrow the request for a new doctor will be submitted for a heart specialist.

——————–

What did I do all day? I worked on the computer. The problem came at 5:44.

Daily medications were same dose they have been for past 20 years. BP meds remain the same as started the first week of May. Note, remember original problem happened before BP meds. This problem has occurred before and after the regulation of the BP. Conclusion, problem is not related to medication.

————————————————-

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I’ve just been so busy…

16 Jun

I don’t know how many times I’ve had to say, “I’m sorry I haven’t called lately. I have just been so crazy busy….”

But it’s true. I’ve had very little time to get back to this blog. There is a certain section of my life that I am trying to keep a little private right now and I’m devoting time to it.

I’ve also got a boat load of work at work as usual and it keeps me busy.

It’s challenging to even have “me” time. I’ve been given orders to do more relaxing and it’s actually hard to find the time to do what I should be doing.

And I absolutely have to make a concerted effort on it, I know. This is not optional. Find ways to relax. It should be in the forefront of my head every day.

I’ll work on it.

Sorry I haven’t written. Too much going on right now. I’ll try to be better.

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Spending the weekend with N.

12 Jun

This might be the last weekend we have before he has to go back up North. He does own other office properties in other states.

He’s only going to be back 2 weeks this Summer. That’s all the chance I will have to see him. I hate it, but it has to happen.

That’s the problem with being in separate states. It’s hard.

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It’s shocking but not shocking…

10 Jun

I’m not trying to lose weight but my metabolism is just in overdrive.

I got on the scales today and I now weigh 111 lbs.

I used to weigh stuff like that in my 30s, early 40s and 20s. It seems to be going back to where it used to be whether I decide it should or not.

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