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One of these days I should really tell her the truth…

14 Sep

You need to read yesterday’s post before you read this one.

One of these days I should probably tell my mother the truth.

She thinks that all the years that G. and I were together, that the yachts were for fishing.

I think we maybe fished on a boat 3 or 4 times in four or five years.

The yachts are not really for fishing. They’re for sex.

We’d leave town every weekend to go to Palm Beach to stay on the boat. We both owned businesses and it was the only place no one could find us.

I spent $7000 on gasoline one year driving from Hilton Head to Palm Beach every weekend. We’d fly the airplane sometimes but the plane could present problems. That’s a post for another day.

We designed a lot of things together (houses and boats) so we could have candid discussions about why boat designers did certain things on a yacht. We redesigned a 48 foot Viking and a 48 foot Ocean Yacht together. One of the first things we did was rip all the curtains off of it and put Limo tint on the boat. So we could see out and people can’t see in.

After he sold the Viking and we had moved on to the Ocean Yacht, I finally just said what we both were thinking.

“Hey Sir Docks-A-Lot. Can you get your assets over here so we can talk about this Ocean Yacht?”

“Yes.”

“This boat sucks.”

“Why is that?”

“Because Viking didn’t just built the old boat for sport fishing. They built it for sex. It had a big master, with a high bed, plenty of mirrors and two large bathrooms off of the master – one for you and one for me. You know those designers designed it that way for a reason.”

“You’re absolutely right. On the Ocean Yacht, the bed is too low. There are no mirrors, it has a rinky dink bathroom and the engines are gutless.”

“Our love life has not been the same since you sold the Viking.”

“I agree. This boat sucks. Selling the Viking was a mistake.”

“Agreed.”

And so that’s how two designers talk about the reality of yacht design.

Next time you go to The Palm Beach Boat Show, start looking for the sexy features. Those boat owners are a lot happier. I guarantee it.

And my parents thought we bought the boat for fishing.

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