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Providing an education on the important things in life…

14 Sep

If my mother didn’t have me, she would not be educated on the important things in life.

I call her every day in the car on the way home from the office.

Today she is telling me her woes about her friend Karen being so upset about the dance costumes that were chosen for them to wear on stage in their next production.

“I mean so was so upset. She just went on, and on and on about how we just can’t wear those pants because we look like hookers. And Armando is not changing his mind about the costumes.”

“Mother, ”

“Yes?”

“Someone needs to tell Karen that you ARE a bunch of hookers. The production is Moulin Rouge. That’s what it’s about. I think someone should explain that to Karen. You are supposed to look like a hooker.”

LOL. I can’t believe I had to say that…

It was like a few months there was a dance and she went and the ladies she was with were all upset over not being asked to dance.

“What color was your dress?”

“Black.”

“That’s why no one asked you to dance. You can not wear black, beige or gray to a dance. Understood? It must be a bright, vibrant color preferably with some bling.”

And the next dance, they followed my advice and she got to dance.

My mother and her friends have lived very sheltered lives.

Believe me, they are learning who to ask for advice. When it comes to something that’s important in life, I always know the answer.

I have not lived a sheltered life, despite my mother’s best efforts.

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