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There’s a hurricane coming and already the adventure has begun…

29 Aug

The whole window came completely out in my hand.

Most people don’t realize that I’m a very complicated woman.

There’s a hurricane coming and a good chance it might Palm Beach County.

I’m supposed to fill in for M. on Saturday and open the store on Worth Avenue. Of course I was there today.

I came home from the office on Worth Avenue, peeled off my Ralph Lauren dress, my staw hat, my pearls and sandals and then set about putting up my hurricane shutters.

You see I bought this property, gutted it and renovated everything – except the windows. I was told there were antique hurricane shutters in a locker on the second story. I live on the first story.

I put my jeans on, got the ladder out and went up and got the shutters. Then I saw the first problem. All the shrubs that are planted around the windows for security, I’m now going to have to get into with a small step stool to put these up. Well long sleeves and pants and bug spray, here it goes. Then I discover that the antique hurricane shutters are spring loaded. I really wish my hands were stronger. Nonetheless, I got the hang of it and I figured out how they go onto the windows.

Well the adventure comes when I get to starting on the master bedroom windows on the golf course. I have almost complete lost any shred of daylight at this point. I can hear that people have screen doors open enjoying the lake and what must be their dinner.

So I climb the ladder and start to put one of the upper shutters on the window. When all the sudden the shutter immediately falls. I catch it with my left hand and then the entire window comes off the casing and falls out and I catch it with my right hand. So both hands have more than they should handle and I’m standing on a ladder and I’m not holding onto anything. Just my balance.

I think I let every four letter word fly. To all my neighbors, I’m so sorry you had to hear that…I’m sure they are wondering, how does she go from high heels, jewelry and champagne to this?

I’m a very complicated woman, trust me. There are far more sides than you will ever know.

I finished getting the shutters on the guest room and four panels on the master. I put the window back into the casing but the whole thing is not trustworthy. I am feeling a little like Wile. E. Coyote at the moment.

I still have the whole master, two bathrooms and the kitchen. The reason I have to start now is because I won’t be available to do this on Saturday. So I have to do a little bit each day with the hour or so of daylight that I have left when I get home. That’s why I am starting now.

I’ve been through several hurricanes before. The first was hurricane Andrew. My brand new house was a month old and I didn’t have shutters. So I had to put plywood up. I thought having shutters of any kind would be easier than that experience. But you know, shutters don’t really help if the whole window falls out and there’s not even a storm yet. I still have to get the dirt out of tracks so I can close the big metal accordion shutters over the sliders in the dining room.

None of this is good news for my neck of course. I am already feeling it. I woke up at 4:30 this morning because the bariatric pressure was so aggravating my neck. I had the feeling it was a hurricane and not a tropical storm. I am very accurate at predicting the weather. Put tonight’s adventure on top of it and it’s not a comfortable mix.

But you know, I will say I was smart about choosing this location. I always have to worry about all my precious servers and my connection to them. In the event I lose power at home, it will be restored before anyone else, because I am on the electrical grid of JFK Hospital.

M. and Frankie are at the show in Baltimore. So that’s why I’ll be going into the store on Worth this weekend. We aren’t worried about the store because it has bullet proof glass.

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