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Whoever said beauty has no price has no clue…

26 May

When you look back at the photo of me, I don’t know what you think. I look at it and I say two things – I want to fabulous at 50 and at 48 I see things that need to be corrected.

I need to tighten that jawline. I need to re-straighten the teeth. I need to cool sculpt my waist.

After all of that, I will look like I had a tune up.

Today, I got the 20 shots into my jaw and chin. Freakin painful. My doctor is the one that developed the drug. Allergan spent 2 billion dollars to develop it. It’s relatively new.

2 billion dollars? It sounds like one of my billion dollar theme parks….

I gotta tell you it’s painful. But if it means I can skip a lower face lift, it’s worth it. We decided to skip the anesthetic because I have a social engagement tomorrow night and I don’t want the bruises. But boy do I have swelling and bruises. Truthfully it’s a risk because he’s had patients with no result and patients with dramatic results from the drug. I decided to roll the dice because I know he’s the best money can buy.

But in six weeks, I should have the result I want. But I did have to explain all this to my dinner guest.

By January, I want to look good. I wasn’t happy with the photo that was taken with Julie. I’ve always been a perfectionist.

The only thing I had had done up until today was my lower eyes.

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This is why everybody wants my job…

25 May

This is me a day at the office, shooting on Worth Avenue in Palm Beach. Kylie (who’s model for Aeropastale) is to my left and Julie Hayek (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julie_Hayek) , a former Miss USA and actress is to my right. Julie was also a first runner up for Miss Universe. These are two of my girls from my photo shoots.

Then this is Thomas and Cesar with the models. Thomas is our photo assistant. Cesar is a photographer who works with me.

Then as I’m editing the photo reel, I find this shot. It’s Cesar watching Julie and I walk down Worth Avenue. You are so busted Cesar…

Julie is 5′11″ and I am 5′4″.

I shoot the photos, do editing, then I design and place ads in magazines and the new shots will appear on the new web site and in a new in store electronic display that we are planning.

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There’s some kind of email problem…

23 May

People are telling me that they aren’t receiving my emails or that they are in the spam folder (of which I do not send).

A lot of my sites are at GoDaddy but that mail server is at Network Solutions and it seems like there’s always a problem with that company.

Check your spam folders, if you don’t find mail from there, then just text me. They’ve obviously got issues going on.

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I was lucky I wasn’t arrested…

23 May

I get to the jewelry store this morning and I unlock the door with key. Then the remote would not open the door.

I thought what’s wrong with this thing? So I text M. and she tells me that means the power’s been off.

Then she gives me directions for how to break into the store.

It was a sight, I’m telling you. A woman in a flowered skirt, manually prying open a glass door on Worth Ave. Man, she must really love diamonds – get a load of that woman!

I’m lucky I wasn’t arrested. Thank God I didn’t look like thief – all dressed in pink today.

It was still pretty funny because that door is not easy and I really had to work hard at it. I’m sure people driving by wondered what I was doing.

Breaking into a jewelry store…I learn something new every day.
———-
We are right next to Van Cleef, Hamilton’s, Tiffany’s, etc.

It’s embarrassing when you have to do stuff like this in front of them. I am sure they are looking and thinking, “What a bunch of idiots…Oh, she’s having one of THOSE days again.” I am sure that we are endless entertainment for them.

That’s ok. You can look at me and sneer and when it happens to you and your store, you come see me and I’ll charge you $1000 to get into your store….

We went through a two week period where all the alarms kept malfunctioning and I’m sure the whole street heard it. Thank God, they are all fixed now. It was humiliating.

And then the fire department has been there several times. And Christopher actually sold jewelry when the fire alarm was going off full blast and the firemen were walking through the store.

And I’m sitting there programming web code and designing an advertisement.

Oh, it’s just another day at the office. Total chaos.

———
Well, and here’s the thing. I knew once I loosened it I had to give it a really big yank, because there is backup power on the alarms and once the door is open even a little bit, my count down begins in terms of the number of seconds I have to deactivate the alarms.

So I was able to get the door open like 6-8 inches and I squeezed through it. I thought, “Oh Chickie, you need to lose some weight. This is tight.”

No easy.

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The Shock & Awe Moment…

22 May

It’s shocking I know. Dun. Dun. Dun.

I bought a new purse and it’s not exactly aqua. It still has some blue in it but leaning more toward the pale green.

Aqua is still my favorite but I just liked this purse. It’s actually the same color as the accent colors in my kitchen. I like to mix those blues and greens.

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Our discussion was about men…

22 May

I have this girlfriend in her thirties and all of our conversations tend to be fun. Today’s was about one of our favorite subjects – men.

She asked me, “Your ex-boyfriend was a lot older than you. How did you end up in that and how did it work for you?”

Well, G. had amassed a real estate empire, multiple yachts and built his own airplane. Initially, I just wanted to know, “How does somebody do all that?”

He heard I was on the Island and asked me to come to his house. It turns out he had a an electric guitar collection too – so did I. So I did go to his house. Eventually, I spent enough time with him that I fell in love. I was 44 when he was 63 and that’s the year it ended after four years. He was a really good looking guy. He’s a terminal bachelor and that never works in the long run. Because there’s always a fight that ends that kind of deal. I already knew he had three or four girlfriends before me and the max that lasted was about four years. History is the best prediction of the future when it comes to men. We both flew planes.

He had a temper and would do some crazy stuff when he got really mad. We’ll leave those stories off the blog. And when it came to his airplane he kept putting me in bad positions. Two right engine failures,  after I told him he had a problem the first time. During annual inspection, I litterally had them take apart the plane twice in order to find what I knew was there. More than once, I was the one who had to crawl under the plane to find out if there was a problem but when he made up his mind about something – he wasn’t going to listen. Nor was that really treating me like a lady if you ask me – but you know me if there’s a problem I will find it. But I would really rather someone value my life and my safety.

Only a pilot will understand this story – One time I’m under the plane. He’s in the cockpit letting fuel out and asking me, “What color is the fuel?”

“You’re good to go. It’s my favorite color.”

That’s because jet fuel is blue. Aqua. I’m looking for rust in the fuel. If it’s not blue, we have a problem. Turns out the rust was in the Servo.

On the right engine failures, I finally had to put my foot down and tell the mechanic to take the plane apart a second time when he wanted to pass it out of inspection. “But that’s another $6000?”

“I don’t care. I can visibly see that there’s still a problem and you haven’t found it and I’m not going to let him takeoff.” I wouldn’t pass the visual inspection.

And you know what? The second time they took the plane apart, they found the problem.

“Yeah, that would have killed you.”

I thought so.

We used to get into arguments about the planes because he wanted me to fly a Porsche Mooney Rocket conversion with him. But a regular Porsche Mooney was the worst airplane ever made and they are not comfortable aircraft. I don’t have any interest in that plane. I liked the Comanche. I felt like I knew what I was dealing with and it could go 160 MPH. As I have learned in life, anything with the word Porsche is “unreliable.”

The other big argument ironically was the runway at The Palm Beach County Park/Lantana Airport. He used to tell me, “The runway isn’t long enough for a Comanche. I want to fly into Stuart or Ft. Pierce.” B.S. The Diamond we were flying last weekend had plenty of runway. The Comanche isn’t that much bigger. Get real G. Just like he used to complain about the Hilton Head Airport. There was plenty of runway for that plane.

We were both business owners so we also had that in common.

The funny thing was I am 5 foot 4 inches. He was six foot four inches. I used to call him “Gomez.” He he called me “Tisha.”

But I mean, come on – most people argue about a trip to Walmart and we’re arguing about how fast I’ll let you fling my ass into airspace with some duct tape, rubber bands and missing screws. I always thought it was interesting when at the annual inspection of the plane they would hand back and bag of screws and say, “I don’t know where these were supposed to go.”

“Why did we just pass a sign that says, ‘Bear Crossing?’”

“Can’t you afford a better mechanic? Why are we always out in the middle of no where?”

Yes, there are younger men who really seem to like me and they want to ask me out but they have a hard time finding the courage, I can tell. It’s somewhat of a problem. Older men don’t seem to have that confidence problem. What can I say, that just seems to be the reality of how it works.

She found all this interesting.

I have several guys “interested” but at the moment they are all hanging back – which tells me they are interested enough. She understood what I meant by that…

But I had to be honest with her – you know I’ve never been asked out on a date by anyone my age. It’s always older or younger. My age has never happened. I’ve never actually dated anyone younger but after a date or two you can tell they want to but aren’t quite comfortable with where I am in life. You know what I mean?

Maybe it’s the old adage, “Oil and oil don’t mix. You need oil and water.”

All I know is that he’ll never date a woman as intelligent as me again. She’ll be an airhead compared to me.

“You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever known.”

True.

Anyways, that was my advice about men for the day…

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I was in a “put your feet up and relax” mood…

20 May

I went over to see Kevin and let him do my toes. I don’t know how he does pedicures when I sit in that massage chair and everything moves. Unbelievable right? I always take my own polish. Today I took, OPI’s “Eternally Turquoise.” I think it looks more light blue…

When I got back my mother was wanting to plan to do something for my birthday in July. I said, “You know what? I have a bunch of money to spend at Disney. Let me take care of this…”

So on the Saturday before my birthday, I made reservations for us to stay at the Saratoga Resort and Spa. It’s a horse racetrack kind of theme and resort. My mother loves horses. I booked two signature massages and two signature pedicures and dinner at the restaurant and hotel. And there went $1200 for that day. But it will be fun. We’ll drive up, have a massage and a pedicure, eat dinner, swim in the pool and in the morning we’ll go for a Surrey Bike ride.

She’s excited about it. We’ll celebrate my birthday. That means she’ll come to Florida for a week. Maybe I’ll have her come down mid-week to mid-week or something.

———

She’ll be happy the restaurant has Mint Julep’s. After all that it will be the best night’s sleep she’ll have all year.

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What a hoot…

20 May

One of my friends texted me Friday night. His brother was in a store and found an aqua and white Calloway golf bag so he was sending me the photo.

Of course I love it.

When my friends get to know me it becomes a game of “I Spy.” They go into a store and the first aqua item jumps out at them.

I’ve had friends tell me, “I never used to spot that color and since I’ve met you, I see it all the time.”

“Well of course you do, it means you actually know something about me.”

And it’s sweet that they “spy” items for me.

It’s just one big old game of “I Spy – a Laura Kerbyson item…”

And you get DOUBLE POINTS – because not only is it aqua, it’s golf related and Calloway.

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The rain just puts a damper on everything…

19 May

It’s been raining all week and now all weekend. You can’t golf in it. You can’t go to the beach or for a walk or to the park.

What can you do with it?

So I am cleaning, doing laundry, watched the Royal Wedding and contemplating organizing my closet.

Even though all my electric and lights are brand new I had one blow so I contacted the company about sending another one since everything is brand new.

This is just going to be one of those weekends. You know what I mean?

Maybe it will be a yoga night, a spa night or I’ll get my toes done.

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Nothing exciting last night…

18 May

All I did was shop for a canvas/painting that would fit over my breaker panel. I finally found one that would work with all the colors.

It should be here on Wednesday.

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What’s up tomorrow?

16 May

I am looking forward to a Palm Beach Chamber happy hour event after work….time to network.

We girls are going out after work…

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Sorry no post last night…

15 May

We are going with “Take it or leave it. We’re tired of this. Let’s move on.”

I’ll put forward the offer in the next day or so. And it will be the final offer.

—————————

I spent all evening looking at legal paperwork. The same paperwork I’ve been reviewing for months in this back and forth negotiation.

We’ll see in this morning’s meeting if everyone else feels the same say but I’m inclined to say, “This is our best and final off take or leave it.”

I just think that we are too far apart on points and I’m not willing to bend anymore.

So I have no problem with walking away.

That’s just how I feel about it.

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Flight Videos over Palm Beach….

13 May

This was my first time ever flying a stick. I only had experience with a yoke plane before.

Because I don’t know this plane Chad has to do takeoff and landing. But once we’re up in the air, then I fly. Then you hear the FAA tell us that we’re flying too high. They told us we could go that high but then I guess they were using the east runway of Palm Beach International…

The Go Pro divides the flight into two parts:

Part one - https://youtu.be/A4tyJ_e8zms

Part two – https://youtu.be/QeoA70Ji_D4

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Here’s the new flyng videos….

13 May

You can watch part one at :

You can watch part two at https://youtu.be/QeoA70Ji_D4

You can watch part one one of flying video at:

https://youtu.be/QeoA70Ji_D4

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The videos will be post in a couple of hours…

12 May

————— 2 hours and 40 minutes remaining on part one upload. Part two is fully uploaded.

You can watch part one at v

You can watch part two at https://youtu.be/QeoA70Ji_D4

You can watch part one one of flying video at:

https://youtu.be/QeoA70Ji_D4

And par two at:

Here’s part 2 – https://youtu.be/QeoA70Ji_D4

————————–

They are like 40% uploaded. It will take a couple of hours but you don’t want to miss this. I flew by Mara Lago, The Colony Hotel, Worth Ave., the Marinas and a host of golf courses. We flew up the blue water line of the ocean. Chad had to do takeoff and landing because this was my first time with this plane and it’s a stick not a yoke, so you get to see him give me the run down and our chatting in general. It was all caught on Go Pro. There’s 2 videos about 45 minutes to an hour total. It’s a really good scenic tour of Palm Beach.

It will be posted here in a couple of hours.

I was lucky to be able to do it because it was sprinkling and I knew that plane didn’t have IFR rating. But in the end it’s better for us because we aren’t baking int the sun under the glass canopy.

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The guilty culprits….

12 May

While the owner of the business was in Montreal, everything was going smoothly until this morning.

Christopher brings his FIVE dogs into the office and they were quickly ushered into the safe room when the first client arrived.

The little one immediately jumped up on my lap. She’s three months pregnant from Benji, one of the other dogs.

Pumba is crying because the door is closed. And then he starts to drool. Yes, that’s 7 inches of drool hanging off that dog…

So that’s Natalie, wiping the drool off of Pumba’s face…

And then there’s Benji. The guilty culprit in everything. He’s the one that got the little dog pregnant. This is Benji.

He chewed up the doorstop to the door.

I said to Natalie, “What am I supposed to tell her when she gets back. I think you have termites or well you know Natalie’s tooth has been bothering her so we gave her this to chew on. I wouldn’t mess with her this week…

I looked at Benji and said, “You are a holly terror.” I swear to God the dog said with a little voice, “Un-hun.”

And then we have this one, the sweetheart. We didn’t know the dogs name so I glanced around and said, “You know they all have tags, what’s on the tag.” Natalie reads it. “Lemo Chillo.”

Only Christopher would name his dog after a drink. “Is the other one named Whiskey?”

I had a dog in 1992. Her name was Tesla. Does that show you the difference?

Then we glance at the security cameras and Christopher is walking around the store with no pants on. His socks are pulled up to his knees and he’s in his boxers.

“Oh, that’s not pretty. What is he doing!”

“I think the tailor is here. Yes, he’s having that ratty pair of jeans altered.”

Oh dear God. The last thing she said to me was, “No funny business while I am gone,” and now there’s five dogs in my office and he’s walking around the store with no pants.

Why does it have to be my day to watch him?

Yeah.

I’m NOT taking a picture of that. I draw the line there.

I get a text from Cesar, “Can I bring the cat?”

NO.

And why do we put up with this? Because in the middle of this pandemonium, he actually sold jewelry. Just like he did the day the fire alarm was going off, the fire department was walking through the store and Christopher was selling a Lariat. And the customer bought it.

That’s why we put up with the craziness.

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I wonder which plane I am flying Saturday?

10 May

I told Joe, I just want to get on the schedule so I don’t know which airplane it’s going to be. I’ll take whatever I can get.

It’s going to be DA20- C1 or DA40 or twin-engine DA42. I’ve never flown on any of those. These planes are fashioned after fighter jets and have the same kind of canopies. This should be fun. The United States Air Force buys these planes. Their Diamond planes.

I’ll ask him if he can snap of photo of me with this bad boy. These planes are spin certified. Here’s what one of the models looks like:

I don’t care as long as I don’t fly experimental or a Porsche Mooney. That was the worst plane ever made. Incredibly slow. It was a disaster for Porsche.

Until I learn these planes, I’m going to lean very heavily on his knowledge. I hope he teaches me everything there is to know about these things. It’s a stick, not yoke.

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OMG is that good…

10 May

One of my new favorite things is what I’ve been making for dinner once a week.

It’s a bourbon marinated salmon served over a spinach salad with egg, red peppers, celery, carrots, almonds, cranberries, raisins, croutons and with a sesame ginger dressing.

I always use wild caught salmon and organic vegetables.

I am definitely enjoying the new big kitchen.

————

Where did I go to dinner Monday night with Julie – Palm Beach Grill, because she lives at Palm Beach Towers right across from The Breakers. It was ok. Not the best food but great, great company.

I told her, when you go to The Breakers, you’ve got to order my drink a Chanel No. 6.

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“I’ve noticed that you switch that persona…”

10 May

The comment was, “I’ve noticed that you switch that persona depending on who you are talking to…”

Of course I do. If I’m talking to someone that uses the Queen’s english, then I use the Queen’s english.

If I am working with someone with a military background, then yes I let it fly because they have more respect for that.

It is true, you can take me anywhere because I adjust to the person or the situation.

It’s called being relatable.

I learned this lesson very early on in life. This is a true story.

I was only 19 when I went to work as an executive for a division of General Electric. I had never heard the “F” word in my life until it came out of the mouth of the CEO. I turned to the person next to me and said, “What does that mean?”

I later told my mother, “You did me such a disservice by not teaching me street smarts. I looked like an idiot.”

Believe me, I learned to get my own street smarts after that lesson.

————

I’m still intrigued by all this sudden interest from China. Traffic doubled again. How interesting….

It’s not just from one city. It’s all over.

I’m waiting on someone to tell me, “You know that really, really bad photo of you? It’s on a billboard in China…”

Just kidding.

You know how developers love numbers. They are fascinating.

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I suddenly became wildly popular in China…

09 May

Something in last night’s post really boosted my popularity in China as they hammered the server.

I guess you boys found something I said interesting?

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Dinner with Julie…

08 May

What can I say – the woman is freakin fabulous.

We had such fun at dinner. Here it is approaching midnight on a workday…

We laughed. We traded stories. We looked at my work and she gave me thoughts and insights. She gave her advice on love and money.

She’s generous and so kind in her compliments to me. I had to laugh with she called me a “quadruple threat.” How so? What’s the first thing?

“You have so much personality. You are very funny. You’re really smart. You should have been a TV reporter. You should have been on camera.”

I think that’s the first anyone has ever told me that. She’s fun and interesting. And she has a very funny cat. How can you go wrong with that?

But she loved my work and that’s good because I really enjoyed it. One insight she said is that she liked my photos over some else’s because she thought the models were more comfortable with me. That could be but I appreciate that, I thought I would come in second place.

Like I said, what’s not to like about this woman. It’s nice to have beautiful, intelligent, interesting friends like hers. We had the first of many good times I am sure.

She told me why things didn’t work out between a certain prince and her and I saw one of my own relationships in that story. We definitely had some common ground in that story.

Definitely a great friendship and working relationship. I knew it from the minute I photographed her that she was as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

————

I think my most favorite thing she said was, “You’re really good at this (photography).”

That’s interesting because I was shooting with another photographer that has much better equipment but my philosophy has always been that the shot doesn’t come from the camera, the shot comes from the photographer. I shoot with equipment that is six years old. I purchased it in 2012.

Julie also liked my real estate design work. We have very similar tastes.

Just like in computer science – I don’t have to be the world’s best at being a coder as long as I’m creative and as long as the interface is enticing and engaging. The look is really important. Some of my most interesting moments in code were when I got creative.

It was really helpful in my career when I met HoDo – Howard Dortch, who was the original programmer for Sony’s EverQuest and he told me, “When I did my interview, they all gathered in a room to watch me solve a problem with code. I did my thing and then they said, “What the hell? I’ve never seen anyone go about that way. And then they offered me the job. I didn’t go to school for this. I worked at Area 51.”

Yes, my freakin little alien buddy…And yet he went on to create the first massive multiplayer game that ever hit blockbuster status. HoDo was the engine programmer.

But don’t get me wrong about Howard and I love Howard but when we first met, he insulted the hell out of me and said, “You don’t know what you’re doing..”

“No shit sherlock, I wasn’t a game programmer before I got assigned to do this. The internet didn’t exist when I became a professor. But guess who’s spending their time drilling people like you? Hello Peaches…get your gun out and meet me in the next map.  Guess who’s the professor?Howard would spend the next several years working hard to become a professor and he saw he eventually win the teaching award for all universities in the state. I eventually said, screw this teaching thing, I’m opening up my own businesses. And Howard is still a professor today. Go figure. But I don’t ever want to tell women I was welcomed into game design or the computer science industry because every conversation started on that note. It was never easy. I just learned to say, “Fuck you and the horse you road in on…” But no doubt HoDo is awesome at what he does.

He was so gracious. In a game we were working on, he had a little gun and a big gun. He asked me “Which one do you want?”

I took the big gun and then I slapped him upside the head with it. Because he deserved it that’s why…

When we met “Mo” who had a Ph.D. in computer science from Yale – the first year I swear I didn’t understand a word he said. After knowing and reading his work for 3 years, someone asked me, “What’s he saying.”

“Oh what he means is this…..” And I found that I understood him perfectly. It takes patience, persistence and putting up with all personality types.

I eventually left being a game design professor because I traded it for real experiences like flying real airplanes and yachts and hanging out with real models and building real real estate. I haven’t touched a game in years. The internet is a different story. When Hard Rock branded me the “Kickass Web Mistress” it was a title that fit. Design and the internet are my strong suits.

The last game design I did was for Hard Rock when I made the puzzle game, memory card game, slot machine machine game, etc for the web site. But when we lost control of Hard Rock Park, Hard Rock lost the right to use any of that code. So it’s nothing but a memory. But occasionally, I meet someone who says, “I was a such a fan of your work. I am so sorry about everything…”

But it wasn’t until I started my own companies where people could see the depth of what I could do – she can design, she can code, she can set up servers, she can make software kiosks – build the hardware and the software, she does marketing, she does print work, she does photography, she can do real estate, she can design the whole theme park, She writes great business plans that attract investors, she can do yachts, she went into aviation. But mostly she’s know for being a designer.”

It took creating Carolina Web Development and Florida Web Development and the Laura Kerbyson design services for people to really see all that depth. I’m not sorry I left teaching even though I loved my students.

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Look what I found…The Blue Angels hat…

07 May

My hat got soaked today on the golf course so I went looking for another for next weekend. Look what I found…that sure was fun

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Well my day didn’t go the way I had planned…

06 May

I was supposed to be golfing 18 holes at the Atlantis Private Club. When I got to my 10th hole, it was pouring rain. So I quit on my 11th hole.

I golfed the North Course and had just started down the East.

As far as the North Course, there were some seriously long holes on that course. I can’t tell you that it was my favorite course that I’ve ever played. I didn’t know the course and that showed. The hole that was dog legged, I’m like, “Where is the flag? I have no idea…”

I did like their driving range and I spent some time there before going out.

I think next I am going to golf Atlantis’s semi private/public course. I had dinner Friday night on the edge of the course and that course looks more like your gentle rolling hills from Scotland. The view was quite pretty. But next weekend, I’m flying an airplane not golfing.

For that course, I just walk across the street. I don’t need to drive.

There’s also a course on Palm Beach Island that I want to play.

At least at The Kentucky Derby yesterday, my horse won. I am looking forward to watching Justify race again.

————-

Then I am starting back on my “Continuous Self Improvement Program.” Translation – time to put some work into me. I am doing several things – I am going to have my chin tightened up at the end of May ( I am going back to see my old friend Faigen but this involves no knives), in June I am doing some Cool Sculpting on my waist to get it smaller and with age my teeth have shifted a bit so I am going to use those Invisalign things for six months to try to put them back. By August I should see some improvements in my looks overall.

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I’m taking a plane up next weekend…

05 May

Fantastic – Joe just called me and I have a 3 p.m. flight time with next weekend. I’m looking forward to this.

I can’t wait to see what I’m flying next weekend. Joe will give the run down on the plane.

There’s 2 things in life I think you are better off renting – planes and yachts.

———————————————

I’ve called about availability and time slots for taking a plane up next weekend.

Because I moved in January, I’ll be switching airports. The Palm Beach FBO is right by my house so I called about an outfit over there. They’ll call back this week and hopefully there will be a slot.

It’s getting too hot to do this. When you take a little plane up this time of year in Florida, it gets really hot. I’m thinking I want to do this before I start to feel like a fried egg up there.

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So grateful for someone who has my back…

05 May

Recently we were doing business with a very small magazine, when the owner asked me (unsolicited), “What do you think of so and so’s photography?”

I said, “Do you want my honest opinion?”

“Yes of course.”

“I don’t care for the shots.”

Then this woman went ballistic.

So M. had a previous deal with her to go to New York and shoot our jewelry on one of her models, who happens to be a former famous cover girl but who no longer has any following.

M. got screwed over in the deal and in New York nothing happened that was promised. Then is woman proceeds to bad mouth me and M. let her have it. She ripped her apart. C. came back and told me, “She really defended you. She said, “You don’t even know her. I work with her every day. How dare you say anything bad about her…”

I so appreciate loyalty. It means so much. I hate when people judge me and don’t even know me. I am very, very loyal to Monica and it means a tremendous amount to me that she defended me from something that wasn’t deserved in any way. And honestly, with my career, how dare anyone say anything bad about me. Anyone who’s ever known me knows better than to say anything bad or judgmental because I don’t deserve that. I am one of hardest working, nicest people you will ever meet – but I am also a smart business woman and I don’t let people walk all over me. I’m very fair.

M. came back and said we’re never doing business with her again. I heard it dissolved into a screaming match in a New York restaurant. I really, really appreciate the loyalty and I’ve got your back too….

I told her, “Don’t worry about. Wait until you get back and see the shots of our girl Julie. These shots are fabulous. We’ve found our girl. She looks FANTASTIC in these photos.” M. came home and said the same thing. “OMG I love these shots.

“Sexy as hell, eh?”

“Definitely.”

We’ve found our girl.

Kylie set it on fire too. Two different ages – two really hot women. We scored.

I am having dinner with Julie Monday and I can tell you this woman is a beautiful person on the inside as well as the outside. I am such a fan after working with her. I loved it.

She’s dated billionaires to princes – and through my camera I can see what she’s the “it” girl. She’s so easy to love.

M. also asked what happened on date number 2. I told her what he said. She said, “What a jerk. He should have apologized to you.”

I agree. I don’t need a man to criticize my career or what I do because I do it just fine. Some people that have smarts, have no people skills. You know what I mean? That’s a man with an ego that’s too big if he comes in on the second date judging you and telling you what to do with your life. I don’t need that kind of ego because frankly, he’s not bigger than I am.

M. reminds me of my students years ago. I once got judged on paper by someone who is now famous. This person never met me. My students went freaking nuts over it. Because they knew me and he didn’t.

I get tired of men and their egos when they come out for no reason. It’s a real turn off.

I told C., “After you look at these shots of Julie and Kylie, you’re going to need a cold shower. Seriously.”

Honestly, and I mean honestly – the pictures on the Internet do not do this woman justice compared to what I caught on camera. Freakin fabulous. She was pretty 30 years ago, but what I caught on camera was gorgeous.

One of the things I want to ask her is, “Ok, you see this body. It needs work. How DO you get that waist so small? Jewels, please advise..”

It also reminds me of my guys at Godaddy, “Hey guys I need to put Varnish on this server and I don’t have a management panel. Do you mind if I command line it all?”

“No Ma-mam!”

—————

“We’re runway 30 are we cleared for takeoff?”

Rudders up. Tires check.

“Runway 30 _______ you are cleared for takeoff.”

Throttle forward.

“This is your captain speaking. We are now cleared for takeoff.”

———————————–

Yeah I heard the whole thing ended up with “Fuck your cover of your little magazine!”

I agree we can afford to pay for our own on a real magazine.

———–

Respect man. Women who deserve respect, who’ve earned respect,  love respect. When someone shows it we never forget it.

And I always pay it back two fold.

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It’s about time…

02 May

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/05/02/607765760/hawaii-approves-bill-banning-sunscreen-believed-to-kill-coral-reefs

Hawaii just banned much of commercial sun screen because it’s killing the reefs. This is what I’ve said for years. The reefs in the Keys look terrible compared to 20 years ago. Last May I said, I’m not going back to the Keys because this is just too sad to see. It’s nothing like what it used to be on the reefs.

So when is Florida going to follow suit and save our ocean?

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Breakfast at The Breakers…

02 May

I’ve got a 7:30 am breakfast at The Breakers for the Palm Beach Chamber of Commerce.

But breakfast at The Breakers is always worth getting up early for…

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It was the BEST NEWS EVER…

01 May

They called me today. They said, “Laura, you are a lucky, lucky dog. Every biopsy of the spots came back benign. Lucky dog, girl.”

“Wanna pet my head…”

So the spots are just spots – they’re like freckles but on the inside of my organs. All I ended up needing was prescription Pepcid. Problem solved. I got a complete bill of clean health.

You might want to check back and read further this evening. I had even more good news today.

———–

Two more things of good news -

Advertising people LIVE for this moment – You know last month I took out the back page ad in Palm Beach, The Island magazine. And they ran an editorial on Kaufmann de Suisse after we got to chatting. In the editorial, they ran the photos I shot of Lyndsey. A customer comes in to the store today with the ad and editorial in her hand and says, “I want this…” She had literally ripped it out of the magazine.

YES! This is what I live for is moments like this when the client sees that the advertising works. It made my day. Freakin fabulous…

Then I got to spend all day shooting a former Miss USA. We needed a beautiful older woman as a model and boy did she rock it. She’s as beautiful on the inside as the outside and we became fast friends. I love the shots. I love her. I was so excited to work with her. We’re getting together for drinks on Monday we hit it off so well. She was Miss USA in 1983 and Miss California. She’s beautiful – Perfect for our advertising.

Then we had a younger model. She’s the one I pegged from the beginning as a “future super model.” Her look is spectacular and her shots were incredible.

What a great day to be in Palm Beach and photographing gorgeous models and spectacular jewelry. I have such a good life. These shots will look great on the web site, in the Look Book, in Social Media and in our advertising.

What a great day.

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Today’s photo shoot went well…

30 Apr

We shot today and we have another full day shoot tomorrow. Although the weather started off rough we ended up with a beautiful day and some great shots.

M. asked me, “How do they look?”

I was looking at one shot in particular. “Winner, winner, chicken dinner.”

She had never heard of that expression.

I am going to be shooting a former Miss USA and Miss California soon. I am looking forward to that one. I met her at Flagler House for a champagne reception for the Mayor of Palm Beach. She’s such a sweet woman. I’m looking forward to that shoot.

We’ve got thousands of shots at this point. It’s going to be tough to choose the best for all our purposes. C. and I definitely have our favorite models. There are some that really stand out.

Next week, I’ve got to go talk to a yacht company about the yacht shoot I want to do. I need to smooze in person because I know yachts. Laura wants a deal…

————-

So they said to me, “Do you really think you’ll join the private course?”

I think I am. The private course I live was rated 4.5 out of 5 stars by golf magazine. My view is absolutely gorgeous. I can image what the rest of the course looks like. Out my front is the semi-private. As an owner, I can play either course at any time. Then across the road we have a public course. I am so happy with real estate choice. I have a beautiful pool, gorgeous views. I have anything you could ever want. And then to be able to use the beach and pool at the Four Seasons, that’s just icing on the cake.

The photos I shot with my iphone do not do it justice. It’s stunning. My home is on hole number 2 with a lake and golf course view. I love the water.

I think I’m going to do it this fall.

The thing of it is – is that if I join the private golf course then I’ve got to give up going up in an airplane. The problem with expensive hobbies is that you have to choose. But right now I am really enjoying the golf. I grew up golfing. I love it.

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What a fabulous day…

29 Apr

I spent my day cooking in the new kitchen and golfing.

In the kitchen I made lunch for Monday and Tuesday – I made homemade vegetable soup (I use vegetable juice as the base) and spinach salads with egg, carrots, celery, raisins, cranberries, nuts and croutons.

For dinner I made organic pasta with sun ripened tomatoes and pesto with yellow peppers, onions and shrimp.

In golf I am definitely making progress. Although I didn’t initially like my Big Bertha 5 wood, I have warmed up to it now and I like the way I shot it today. I made progress on the lower irons but the upper irons still need more work. The 1, 3 and 5 woods are still my best. I went to the driving range before I golfed the course but I didn’t practice putt and it showed. I need to work on that.

Overall there was progress compared to the last time I was out and that’s what I am looking for – progress.

It’s interesting because on the drivers, I know exactly what I am doing wrong if I do something wrong. And then the next shot, I correct it and it goes better. I have to keep reminding myself, “Let the club do the work…” On the upper irons, I am beginning to feel like I need a golf pro to evaluate my shot, because I don’t know what’s causing that problem.

Overall it’s coming along to the point where I am thinking about joining the private course in the fall. They only have enrollment 2 times a year. If I join then I will also get beach and pool access to the Four Seasons because they have a reciprocal agreement with the country club where I live.

What did I wear for golf today? I wore a navy Nine & Nine skirt and sleeveless shirt.

But this was my kind of day – cooking, golfing and enjoying a nice Bloody Mary – cheers to the Queen.

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Look what I bought today…

29 Apr

Isn’t it cute? I want to make pizza dough because that’s what I use my top oven for – as a pizza oven. I had to buy it because it’s the exact color as my green painted wall in the kitchen and the color of my tray ceiling.

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Entertaining…

29 Apr

I grew up in a house where my parents did a lot of entertaining and there were always friends over for dinner, for game night or some other activity.

I put in the big kitchen recently and redid the dining room because I want to do more entertaining. It’s something that I enjoy and grew up with.

I like when friends come and hang out.

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Gorgeous day…

28 Apr

I am so fortunate to be able to wake up and see this beautiful view everyday.

I’m going to the market today to shop, get a good walk and workout in and do a little cooking.

Tomorrow I am going golfing with a friend. It will be fun.

Also going to M’s house tomorrow. She’s got dresses that she wants to give me. That will be fun too.

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We’ll it wasn’t what I wanted to hear…

28 Apr

but I’m not surprised by it.

First let me tell you that I am the most fearless woman that you will ever meet in your life.

Before I go into what this about, let me give you the back story. 20 years I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. They gave me about 4 years. I decided that we were going to go about the treatment my way and I was shooting for living 10 years. 20 years later I’m here telling you the story. I had nine surgeries and refused to do anything related to chemo.

I used to be an executive at a chemical company and I spent many years living in an area with chemical plants.

I knew I had a problem this time before I started going for tests and then test after test has a problem. There are spots on the liver, spots in the stomach, I had a mammogram that wasn’t good, the list goes on. We sent biopsies into pathology from yesterday, it will take a week to come back. Our best case scenario is that all the spots turn out to be pre-cancerous or something like calcium. I’ll be very surprised, actually shocked because it was blood that originally brought me in for all the tests.

I actually had a surgery last fall to remove a tumor that was within 30 days of being cancer. It was the size of golf ball.

But if it turns out that we need to take more action than we’ve already done. the plan will be – no chemo. Cut out everything you can find. I’ll have the same goal as last time. I want 10 more years. And maybe I’ll be lucky and telling you this story again in 20 years. We’re going to do this my way.

I’m not going to sit around and worry about it. That’s not how I live my life. I’m a problem solver. I find a way to solve the problems.

And honestly, I use a lot of humor.

I was telling my mother on the phone how the Uber driver’s GPS was all screwed up on the way to the hospital. He originally stopped in front of the UPS store and told me we’d arrived at my destination. I turned to him and said, “I don’t think they are mailing me in a box today. We’re at the wrong place…”

Previously this year my mother asked me, “What do you want for a funeral, I would have no idea what to do for you. Do you want to be cremated or buried?”

To which my response was, “If I still look young and pretty, you put me on display in coffin. If I look like Hell, you feel free to burn me up. Does that answer your question?”

“Oh and one more thing – I found an Aqua colored metallic coffin. Here’s the link (I sent it to her in an email). They ship within 24 hours. You just tell the funeral home, ‘This is what she wants and it will be here tomorrow.’”

She couldn’t stop laughing. She knows that this is how I deal with this crap. Honestly, I don’t think that day is coming for quite a few years. Don’t underestimate me. I always seem to find a way.

Nonetheless, I’m not a liar and it is what it is and it’s a problem that I will deal with. And if it doesn’t work out in the long run, then I’m ok with that too. And of course we’re down to the vital organs because years ago, if it wasn’t vital – I had it removed. The cat scan was kind of funny, “All you’ve got left is bones and the essentials…”

Yep. “Can you tell I like life simple?”

In the meantime, I’m going golfing this weekend. And I have to say that in the past, when I hit challenging periods in my life, I produced some of the best work I’ve ever made. I just seem to step up to the plate under that kind of pressure.

I told my mother, “You know if I get really sick, I’m going to turn completely wild because I’ll be counting my days…”

“I hate to tell you this but you’re already wild.”

This may be somewhat true but when I’m gone I think the best I can hope for is that people would say, “She was beautiful, she was brilliant and she lived life like no one I’ve ever known. Her work was varied and amazing. And she was completely fearless.”

I like that better than “wild.” But you know I am a true July birthday, and Cancers are known for being “Wild and Creative.” What can I say. I stopped short of the Mark of the Beast when my birthday rang almost three sixes – July 16, 196… wait for it – 9! Saved by the last digit!

“It’s not wild, Mother. It’s wicked.”

So that’s the update. I’ll let you know when it’s a battle I think I can’t win. Let’s move forward people. In the meantime, I’m living life just the way I would otherwise.

Onward…

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No long post tonight…

26 Apr

I am going to eat, take a bath and head to bed early.

I am going to be in the hospital tomorrow. Because I am having anesthesia tomorrow,  dinner has to be eaten before a certain time tonight.

Good night…

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